Six ways employers can support employees through grief

Everyone at some point in their working life will suffer a bereavement. According to the charity Sue Ryder, nearly a quarter of working-age adults will know someone who has died over the past year. The bereavement support charity Cruse also estimates that, for each death, as many as six people will experience intense grief.

Whether it's a parent or partner, relation or sibling, a beloved pet, or even a child, the grief and pain that comes with loss can knock you sideways.

Grief and bereavement can trigger emotions such as disbelief, guilt, anger, and profound sadness - but it can also generate very physical side-effects.

These can include loss of sleep, loss of appetite, an inability to think or concentrate properly, mental health (including stress and anxiety), and an increased likelihood of heart attack or diabetes.

Bereaved employees may take additional time off work, be less able to focus, and be less likely to be working to their full potential. Indeed, Sue Ryder has estimated that bereavement costs UK plc some £23bn a year as a result.

Yet, at the same time, work and the workplace can be an important source of help and support, even comfort, for a bereaved employee. Here are six ways employers can make bereavement at work easier to bear.

1. Be supportive and empathetic

As an employer or manager, supporting bereavement needs to be, at its most basic level, about offering advice and support - simply 'being there' for your colleague or employee.

To that end, it may be helpful to ensure managers have training in active listening and emotional intelligence. This can encompass helping employees (and perhaps their colleagues) understand the different stages of grief, including that everyone grieves differently, that you may not just 'get over it'.

On that note, it is important to ensure managers understand the importance of language in this context, in other words understanding what and, crucially, what not to say to someone in grief. This advice from a hospice is a useful primer of phrases to avoid.

2. Create the right environment

The only way, as an employer, you're going to be able to be supportive and empathetic is if your employee feels they can open up and talk to you. Therefore, it is important to create an environment, and organisational culture, where people feel confident to have these sorts of conversations.

Bear in mind, this needn't mean the employee only feels` able to open up to their manager. It may mean ensuring there are peer support networks available, or perhaps access to a mental health first aider. Essentially, you need to be working to create an environment where someone does not feel the only option is to grieve in silence.

Having said that, grief can be intensely private, so you should be respectful about how much or little an employee wants their colleagues or co-workers to know.

3. Recognise (and signpost) to practical things that may help

This may include communicating your organisation's bereavement policy (if it has one) and policy around bereavement leave, including whether this is paid. Sue Ryder has suggested only 30% of workers say managers or leadership have shared their organisation's bereavement policy in the last year.

At the very least, it will mean ensuring the employee has proper time away from work to grieve and does not feel pressured to come back (though see point five below).

Be aware, there are some statutory requirements here. As this Acas guide highlights, anyone legally classed as an employee has the right to time off if a dependant (so partner, child, parent and so on) dies or if their child is stillborn or dies under the age of 18. There is no legal right, however, for this to be paid, or any legal definition of how long this should be for beyond that it should be 'reasonable'.

Other than time away from work, it may be helpful to consider offering, or accommodating, more flexible working for a period, so perhaps revisiting shift patterns, workload or duties. Offering access to a private space can be valuable too, if an appropriate space exists.

Another useful support can be allowing the employee to make personal calls for a period, or within reason. This might be if they need to sort out funeral arrangements or deal with solicitors or executors or financial matters. Access to a private, quiet space can be equally helpful here.

4. Signpost to support and resources

As well as practical support, it can be valuable to signpost to whatever health, especially mental health, support your organisation offers.

This could be access to mental health first aiders or an employee assistance programme (EAP), counselling, fast-track GP, or an occupational health department. Many EAPs offer a much wider range of counselling and advice, for example around financial support.

You can signpost to external resources, too, such as the mental health charity Mind, the NHS, Cruse, At a Loss, your local council or even (albeit mostly for practical issues) the website gov.uk. There are many other online resources out there.

Recognise, too, that there are many talks and videos available online to watch that may help, or you can signpost people to. For example, this 'Ted talk', is valuable in the advice it offers around how to handle grief both in your personal life and, crucially, at work, including the importance of taking time to focus on your inner self, what you're feeling, the emotional 'operational chaos' you're likely to be working through, and how to move from 'grief to growth'. But, again, it is just one example among many.

5. Recognise that being in work may help (within reason)

For some people, rather than sitting at home dwelling on their loss, work may be a 'safe place' to come to, somewhere 'normal' to get away from or distract them from their grief.

To that end, as an employer, if a bereaved employee insists they want to come back to work, it may be a good idea to let them (with appropriate support, signposting and flexibility, as already highlighted).

But do also recognise that throwing yourself back into work, as a common mechanism for dealing with a bereavement, may not always be the best way for someone to be managing their grief.

There can, for example, be a risk of burning out, of using work as a means of denial (which may then store up problems for the future), or you may find that the work they're doing during this period is not up to their usual standard.

Again, as a manager, it is simply about being flexible, understanding and empathetic in how you manage the situation.

6. Appreciate the vital importance of line managers

Line managers will be the first port of call for a bereaved employee, as well as, potentially, any grieving colleagues. They will need to balance the needs of the individual, of the team and then, more broadly, of the organisation.

So, it is critical line managers are equipped with the skills and training to give them the confidence to deal with what can be a challenging time.

As we've touched on, this may come back to building emotional intelligence and listening skills and ensuring they properly understand and are aware of the support and resources available - especially any bereavement policy - and how to signpost to them.

Conclusion

In conclusion, managing grief and bereavement in the workplace is never likely to be easy. However, with the right communication, skills, empathy and flexibility it can be done, meaning a grieving employee or colleague is properly supported.

Understanding your organisation's bereavement policy is key, as is knowing where and how to signpost to support, especially health and wellbeing support.

About the author

Nic Paton is one of the country's foremost journalists on workplace health, safety and wellbeing, and is editor of Occupational Health & Wellbeing magazine. He also regularly writes on the health and employee benefits and health insurance markets.