Secret to happiness: Alignment

It is broadly accepted that, when we're happier, we're feel more productive and energised - at home and at work.

What, however, is the secret to happiness? Are there tricks or techniques we can learn to help us feel more positive, resilient and generally more contented with life?

The short answer is very much 'yes', at least according to business transformation coach Jenny Allen-Smith from Stretching the City.

The starting point is psychologist Dr Rangan Chatterjee's model of a 'three-legged stool' of happiness. Jenny emphasises how, if we are looking for true happiness, we need to get all of three legs of the stool - 'alignment', 'control', and 'contentment' - firmly into our lives.

Contentment is relatively self-explanatory as a term, but the other two are maybe less so. "Alignment is when our inner values and our external actions line up; so, the person we want to be and the person we are actually being in the world are one and the same," Jenny explains. "Control is do we really feel a sense of agency in our lives and in our work? Do we feel a sense that the world around us is predictable, and it is safe?

"The three-legged stool won't stay upright for you all of the time. Some days will absolutely be better than other days. But, with regular practise, your core happiness stool will become more stable," Jenny adds.

We'll consider 'control' and 'contentment' in more detail in the next two vlogs. For her first vlog, on 'alignment', Jenny outlines three practical exercises to help line up your inner values and your external actions more closely.

All our lives, Jenny concedes, are complex. It is very easy for the things to get out of balance, whether that's spending too much time at work or not seeing friends and family often enough, or not having time for that hobby or passion outside of work.

One way to change this is through using a Happiness Wheel.

"Draw a circle. Divide it into segments. Label the segments with the things that make you happy. Mine, for example, are spending time with family and friends, reading, yoga and meditation, walking the dog, music, painting, dancing, fine dining," Jenny explains.

"Then imagine a scale of zero to 10, with zero the centre of the wheel and 10 the outer rim. Rank your level of satisfaction with each segment of your life. Ask yourself: 'to what extent am I happy with the attention that I personally give to each segment?'. Zero, or the middle of the wheel, would be not happy at all whereas 10, yes, absolutely."

To create more balance and harmony (alignment) in your life you need to look at where, ideally, you would like each segment to be versus where it is currently - and how that change might occur.

"Remember, it is not realistic necessarily to have a 10 for every segment; I don't think life really works like that," Jenny explains. "Set some reasonable goals. Perhaps spending time with friends and family is a three. You might want to aim, realistically, within the next three months to get that up to a six. See what works for you. Where do you really want to focus? What actions can you take?"

Once you've developed a step or action plan, make sure you revisit and review to see how you're doing it, perhaps every three months. As Jenny concludes: "Happiness is something that you can practice day by day. Make sure that your day-by-day actions line up to the person that you want to be."

Jenny Allen-Smith is a Transformational Coach, a Master NLP Practitioner and a Mental Health First Aid Trainer with MHFA England. Jenny works daily on her happiness practices and tries to incorporate something that makes her feel joy, every single day! She is getting good at happy.

Nic Paton is one of the country's foremost journalists on workplace health, safety and wellbeing, and is editor of Occupational Health & Wellbeing magazine. He also regularly writes on the health and employee benefits and health insurance markets.